


Linguistic Drift

by Dreamstitch



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls), Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, Languages and Linguistics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24199267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamstitch/pseuds/Dreamstitch
Summary: Alcor’s spent more time ignoring the world than he expected, but now he’s ready to start reconnecting again. What could go wrong?
Comments: 9
Kudos: 43





	Linguistic Drift

He wasn’t sulking. There was no one in the forest for miles around to see, or judge, or poke him in his ticklish spots until he “stopped being such a sour face, Dip-in-the-mud!” Therefore, he wasn’t sulking. He was just... having some me-time. For… he frowned, suddenly unsure. How long  _ had _ it been? For the first time in decades he loosened the crushing grip he’d held on his omniscience and reached out, seeking an answer. The occasional summons rarely told him much, as there was only so much variety to be had in what basement, cellar, bedroom, parking garage, or, on one semi-memorable occasion, barn, he found himself in.

Alcor’s pitch-black eyes widened as the answer came to him.  _ Centuries. _ He’d been ignoring the world at large for nearly four hundred years, far longer than the mere lifetime or two he’d meant to distance himself from Mizar. How on earth had he managed that? Granted, not much changed in a forest as old as this one, and drifting in and out of the Mindscape whenever he didn’t like the weather or feel like remaining so close to the physical realm was one thing, but this… 

Well. Alcor’s expression settled onto one of determination and he pushed himself to his feet: an easy thing to do when he could decide how familiar he wanted to be with gravity at any given moment. Gaze set on the middle distance, his mind focused on the nearest hub of clustered life, he didn’t notice the slight groove in the trunk behind him that was perfectly sculpted to his back -- a testament to just how long he’d been lounging against that tree, lost in his own mind.

No time like the present. He brushed himself off, though his dark suit was as immaculate and wrinkle-free as if he’d just picked it up from the dry cleaner’s. Feet on the ground, no floating, ears rounded, teeth flat… he nibbled on a conjured pen as he gave himself a once-over, trying to remember the checklist he hadn’t needed in so long. He’d just pop over to the closest city, reacquaint himself with humanity and current events, and then maybe,  _ maybe, _ see who the current Mizar was and what they were up to. One thing at a time.

He glared his claws into submission but left the nails black. Most people, if they even noticed, assumed it was nail polish. What else, what else… oh! Reaching up with one hand, he tugged his hat down until it brushed against the top of his head, close enough to look like it was perched atop his hair rather than floating under its own power. There. That ought to do it.

Rather pleased with himself, he focused on a nice quiet little street to pop in on and then tessered himself over to start his walkthrough.

The voice that greeted him upon his appearance was the last thing he expected, not least because he’d thought the street was empty.

“Airna, d’ye jus bip outta thinna like was naw? Thas nutty tweaked, tha’is! How’d’ja ex tha com, pallio?”

The short young man -- he was five foot nothing or Alcor would eat his own hat. Again. -- seemed impressed, not frightened, and was giving him a friendly, expectant look. At least that much was going right. Alcor blankly took in the man’s dark skin, brown eyes, and rainbow dreadlocks as he slowly processed the apparent English with which he’d just been assaulted. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and then gave his head a sharp shake.

No. Nope. Absolutely not. He turned on the spot and vanished back to his forest. Maybe in another hundred years people would come to their senses, or at least reach a point where their language didn’t stir up spine-shuddering memories of a certain neon-clothed doppelganger on a skateboard.

Miles away, Arns waited another minute while looking around to see if the vintage-looking teleporter would appear again. Arns hadn’t even seen anything that remotely resembled tech on them! Imagine, a working, portable teleportation device! When nothing more exciting than a pigeon passed by, he sighed.

“Prets. Wast summa Ah said?”

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:  
> “Hey [Here now], did you just teleport out of thin air like it was nothing? That's majorly impressive! How did you [pull that off], friend?"
> 
> ex tha com = execute that command, i.e., make something happen / pull it off
> 
> “Weird. Was it something I said?”
> 
> Fun facts that didn't quite make it in:  
> \- Alcor totally forgot to alter his eyes. At all.  
> \- He went a little overboard on rounding his ears. They are perfectly circular with zero earlobe.


End file.
